The story so far: Tollon came out of his confrontation with the gods as a demigod himself. The role doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Now read on . . .
Two days later, I am all but ready to admit defeat. Chypa is right. I look at people, and I know all about them. I want to do something, and if Iβm not careful, it happens without the usual labor involved. I spent last night flying through the air, just to see if I could. I could.
Inacha, whom I respect? Sheβs terrified of her own sexuality, which is how she can freeze that of any man she encounters. I could fix that.
The king? He is so ordinary, but for his office. In thanks for what Iβve done, he wants to shower me with titles and rewards. I realize I could just take over Auspulia from him if I wanted to.
Evana? Seeing her hurt. Sheβs still a girl, still growing up. Β I could βfixβ that, and then I realize I shouldnβt.
I walk around the palace, and it all looks so trivial. I could change it all. Chypa is right. Everyone and everything looks diminished. There are moments I want to tear out my eyeballs and make it stop.
Rather than go talk to Chypa again, I track down Mother Alesca for a private audience. Sheβs busy helping the king reorganize the kingdomβs nobility and bureaucracy after the mess Vorana made of it, but she readily takes the time to meet with me.
I ask her the obvious question. βYou were a demigod for a while. How did you handle it?β
Apart from Chypa and Mia, Mother Alesca is the only complicated person Iβve run into since I became a demigod. Sheβs Mother Alesca. But sheβs also clearly Honorable Alencar, the learned lady. And itβs the latter that answers me. βI didnβt want to be a demigod, Tollon. Iβm really a scholar at heart. I donβt want power. So I didnβt take it. I was a demigod, but I never acted as one. Apparently, most people canβt or wonβt give up the possibilities of being a demigod if they have the chance.β
βIβd like to,β I say.
The learned lady, for that is what she is right now, shakes her head. βIf thatβs what you really want, then youβd not have reached for the power. You have, Tollon. Realistically, youβre not going to give it up.β
I never thought Iβd be in a position to say something like this. βThen Iβm doomed to wander the world alone, Tollon the Stranger.β
βI donβt know about that,β she replies, βeither about being doomed or being alone. And thatβs all I can tell you from my own experience. But I wonder if your problem is that you havenβt figured out what a demigod should do.β
βFix the unfixable,β I flippantly reply. Fix the broken. The thought echoes in my head, and I realize there is something I can do.
You see, my problem is I donβt want to tamper with people. Vorana and Gwella taught me that. They did nothing but damage when they tampered with people. Besides, most people can deal with their own problems, or not. But what about someone whoβs so broken they cannot cope with their own problems?
Mother Alesca sits there, patiently waiting for me to finish. So I ask her, βWhat happened to Paviara?β
She looks thoughtful before she replies. βThe encounter with you shook her up, but she doesnβt know why. She repeats your name every so often as if itβs something meaningful, but she canβt tell us why. Why? What do you plan to do?β
βSee her. Cure her, if I can. Make her life a bit happier, if I canβt.β It sounds good.
βThere are things you canβt do, Tollon?β Sheβs being priestess and scholar, both.
βApparently, I can do anything, Mother Alesca. The question is, can I do it right?β
(To be continued . . .)
“But I wonder if YOUR problem is….”
Do you want a question mark at the end of Mother Alesca’s last sentence?
Thank you for the suggestions; I have corrected the first, and left the second alone.
A very much matured Tollon. And I do sympathise with him. Being a demigod is such a burden, wanting to wave that magic wand and cure everyone of everything, yet knowing the road to hell is paved with such good intentions….we demis, we have a hard time
You have my permission to deal with the coronavirus.
Cheers, hon. We’re having a meeting of demigods next week to organise it.
You trust us not to make it worse?
No. π
We’ll do our best π