The Zombie Reading Shelf® is pleased to announce the following new titles for release in Spring, 2014:
Obese Americans: Health Hazard or Hunting Opportunity? by Dr. Gwen Ross (deceased) — Zombies have found the increasing number of overweight Americans to be easy pickings, but some worry that a diet so heavy in fat must lead to obese zombies and a shorter afterlife. Dr. Ross, a leading authority on zombie physiology since her death, clears away the myths to reveal the real advantages and disadvantages of fatty tissue in the zombie diet.
Field Guide to Revenants, 3rd revised edition by Ewell Peters — Although designed for living humans, zombies should find this guide useful in understanding their competition in the ecosystem. Peters treats the different varieties of the revived dead with precision and wit. I especially like his characterization of vampires as the “vegans of the undead, picky and absurdly proud of their restricted diet.”
Eating Brains the Tex-Mex Way by various — Tired of eating brains raw? Burnt your right hand off trying to cook them? Then this book is for you! More than a cookbook, this volume offers instructions on how to prepare brains in a variety of spicy and flavorful dishes without risk of catching fire. Included are instructions on how to use ovens, which bowie knives are microwavable, and a detailed 3-D map of the best cuts.
Zombie Reading Shelf® books are available in hardcover and paperback at finer bookstores everywhere. E-book editions require the ZombieRead™ app pre-installed, as zombies lack the mental and manual skills to install it themselves.
Love it. I’d like that last book. I remember, years upon years ago, dog-sitting for a friend. “Where are the tins?” I asked. “No,” she said. “You’ll find pig-brains in the freezer.” She didn’t warn me of how my fingers would go through them as I tried slicing them. I turned vegetarian shortly after.
I gather one of the problems with anatomical studies of the brain in years past is that the tissue looks much the same throughout, and has a cheesy texture that allowed you to do what you did with pig brains.
I’m not sure cheesy describes it. Though it is long ago, it was more like handling semi-solid custard wrapped in a very fine and fragile film. Maybe it was the effects of freezing and defrosting. Once cooked they were solid enough. But I’m not sure my friend’s Doberman would have liked it chillied!
Having not done it myself, I’ll take your word on it.
LOL Brian, that was funny! I wonder if there’s any guide to vampires’ ettiquette too…
My father has this little story about the time he was a seaman. Being a steam boiler mechanic (yes, these are used in modern-day boats, factories and hospitals) he once helped a collegue in an African port with a complicated probem. The collegue invited him to dinner, in which monkey brain was served. My father, born Jewish but an atheist and socialist since his teen years, politely declined. “My religion doesn’t allow this,” he said, while munching on some pork (not brain though)…
Ahhhhhh, yeah, there’s something cannibalistic about eating monkey brains. While pigs … well, there may be quite a few humans who resemble pigs, but that won’t stop me from eating pork. I guess I’m inconsistent, too.