THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE IS UNDER ATTACK!
Oh, it started innocently enough. First there was the war on slavery. Then there was the war on drugs. Then there was the war on Santa, even questioning his racial status. And now comes the horror of horrors:
THE WAR ON APRIL FOOLS’ DAY
“What?” you say. “Can’t one have a single day to practice innocent jokes against the pompous fools that surround us everyday?” But, NO! Now the dreadful thought police want to stamp out even your attempts to laugh at the foibles of others. Even John Oliver, a comedian(!), has turned against us.
But you can fight back. Dress in motley for the day. Better yet, dress your enemies in motley for the day. Keep a straight face as you discuss the metaphysical subtleties of Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” Ask when your firm will adopt a dress (or undress) code taken from “Game of Thrones.” Celebrate the coming of Easter by juggling raw eggs, preferably in front of someone whose clothing is in bad taste.
And in the words of the Constitution of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, let “sincerity, good humor, and all social affections, and generous sentiments among the people” prevail.
LONG LIVE APRIL FOOLS’ DAY!